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In her obviously orthodox Mormon paradigm dad's a bishop, she went to BYU and on a missionunderstand that she believes her husband must be an orthodox Mormon and get married to her in the temple. It would put him in a position of feeling less and being looked down on. I don't want to advocate manipulation but asking questions concerning Joseph's dishonesty about polygamy to his first wife and his marriage of other men's wives and marriage of a 14 year old may prove more fruitful than just saying wow polygamy is messed up. LDS theology heavily promotes the idea that marriage and family are an important source of happiness in this life, not just the next. All this said, God is love and fully understands and appreciates your problem. I married outside the church and have no regrets. I believe that there will be a lot more mercy than justice being dished out at the judgment.
Interestingly, my parents felt the same way about him. Just talk to her honestly, and if you have to, use the old wonder of logic. The Mormon culture has mastered the forked tongue.