Why Smart Women Attract Narcissistic Men | HuffPost
Do you ever feel like you're a freaking magnet for narcissistic men? As the founder of Date Like a Grownup, I've coached hundreds of women . The narcissist will simply keep trying to manipulate you to get what he wants. Ever asked yourself 'why do I keep attracting narcissists? If you're smart and kind, you're a sitting duck for these guys! Here's why and how to stop. It's time to declutter your life of toxic relationships. Before long, you'll stop attracting them altogether. That life is possible for you. You deserve it.
I have always been highly sensitive, empathic and caring and I attracted one narcissist after another into my life from childhood, up until the point I transformed my past and my limiting subconscious beliefs.
I am now no longer addicted to these people and no longer draw them into my life. The reasons you are attracted to them and give your power away to them may include: Narcissist behaviour feels normal Maybe you grew up with parents or other caregivers that were narcissists.
They had no empathy or understanding for you. They may have emotionally, physically or sexually abused you. Maybe they were an alcoholic or struggling with depression or another mental illness. Or, perhaps they just had no time for you. This is the behaviour you are used to. You may not even know what you want because you may have learnt as a child that it was wrong to want anything.
People pleasing behaviour Getting your self-worth by constantly trying to please other people involves giving your power away. But, when you do this with a narcissist, you will never be able to please them. They constantly change their mind and raise the bar about what they want - to keep you trying harder and harder and making you feel more of a failure. Narcissists are formidable indeed.
Early in any relationship ask for what YOU want and see how he responds.
Though thoroughly self-centered, your narcissistic man has a way of seeming so generous and kind. He wines and dines you.
Six reasons you keep attracting narcissists
He tells you what you are longing to hear. He makes you laugh. Is the courting really all about you or is it actually all on his terms?Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists
Is he trying to get to know you or simply trying to impress you? Is he trying to connect with you, or win you? You see, confident, grownup, relationship-minded men are over the childish ego-driven pursuit of women.
They truly want to get to know you. How do you pull back that curtain? Stay grounded and aware of your needs and wants. When there is something you want, express it, damnit! Or maybe ask him to change the time for the date, or call you at a certain time.
Ask him to share his feelings about something, or a couple childhood stories. For example, he might want to hang out with his friends, but not yours. He may only want to take you where he wants to go, when he wants go. He may not share his inner feelings and life experiences. With the exception of his accomplishments. He expects you to do favors for him, but somehow never can reciprocate.
- Why Smart Women Attract Narcissistic Men
When you allow yourself to look, your so-called relationship is all about his world; you just live in it.? The last thing a narcissist wants is a woman who expects to have her needs met.
So, be that woman. Ask for what you want and need and watch carefully Know your must-haves and stick to them. No matter how charmed you are or how much fun he is, when deciding if he could be a possible partner, stay focused on your must-haves.
You want a man who is honest, reliable, and generous, right? You want to feel appreciated, respected and understood When he upsets you, does he always have a way to ultimately make it your fault and make you feel wrong? Does he discount things you say or things you want, because he claims to know better? Does he dominate conversation and turn the topic back to him? Are you feeling less-than with him?
Do you find yourself making excuses for your narcissistic man whenever you feel slighted or ignored? If you find your values are being compromised then cut it off, the sooner the better. I have coached hundreds of women who have survived falling in love with a narcissist. When I help them look back, each tells me that there were always signs they ignored and excuses they made. I suggest that you look now, and take action.
Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists And Abusers (And How To Stop) - mindbodygreen
Not yet clear on your grownup must-haves? Insist on going at your pace. If a guy comes on strong and fast about what he can do for you, how much he a likes you and how it will be as a couple, take a step back.