Problems with dating 20 year age gap

problems with dating 20 year age gap

May 11, People say love is blind, but research says your age gap can determine the longevity of your relationship. Nonetheless, in the concept of dating someone significantly older, “If I was 20 years older than my wife, nobody would think for a single . Share your thoughts and debate the big issues. But relationships with significant age gaps like that tend to be very hard work to sustain. I'm not Daniel Schwarz Carigiet, Never got the whole "dating" thing. . Obviously it's not a wise decision to make a relationship with 20 years gap. Aug 4, It was early when Liz Axelrod met James Olson at a Manhattan bar near the New School, where both were getting Master of Fine Arts.

problems with dating 20 year age gap

Are you prepared to reconcile the fact that your differing phases of life retirement vs. Do you have a big enough heart to deal with the likelihood of a serious illness striking the older partner first? Are you prepared to compromise? It doesn't take much for a health issue to curtail a couple's social life or travel plans. Just as age has its rewards, so do age differences.

The younger person gets an experienced companion who is often better established in the world. The "senior partner" may also have more money — perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for his part, gets a higher-energy companion who is likely to help the couple stay fit — and, quite likely, more sexually active.

But won't the "junior partner" eventually have to pay the piper? Well, if you're 50 and your companion is 70, you're almost bound to provide care long before you would for a mate of the same age.

problems with dating 20 year age gap

Research out of the University of Colorado at Boulder found that both men and women reported greater relationship satisfaction with younger spouses, specifically in the early years of the marriage. Men who marry younger wives tend to show more satisfaction in their marriages, the research found.

Why couples with big age gaps are happier, despite the social disapproval

Meanwhile, the men who marry women who are older than they are show less satisfaction. What might come as a surprise to some, though, was that women also seemed to prefer younger spouses.

As the authors of the study noted, women also report more satisfaction with younger husbands compared to older ones. Jay-Z is 10 years older than wife Beyonce Getty The research also told a different story as time passed.

Despite the higher level of satisfaction reported by those with a younger spouse early-on in the relationship, the study found that the initial boost wears off quickly—generally within the first six to 10 years of a relationship. A study by researchers at Emory University in Atlanta, published insuggests another important implication of the previous work in the field.

The studywhich recorded and analyzed a variety of data from 3, individuals who had been married at least once in their lives, centered on the relationship between the amount of money spent on a marriage and that longevity of the marriage.

problems with dating 20 year age gap

Throughout the course of the study, though, another interesting trend emerged: Many people assume age-gap couples fare poorly when it comes to relationship outcomes. But some studies find the relationship satisfaction reported by age-gap couples is higher.

#HusbandNotDad: What Experts Say About Relationships With Large Age Gaps – HealthyWay

These couples also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower jealousy than similar-age couples. Over three-quarters of couples where younger women are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships. A factor that does impact on the relationship outcomes of age-gap couples is their perceptions of social disapproval.

That is, if people in age-gap couples believe their family, friends and wider community disapprove of their union, then relationship commitment decreases and the risk of break-up increases. These effects appear to apply to heterosexual and same-sex couples. So the negative outcomes for age-gap couples seem to reside not in problems within the couple, but in pressures and judgments from the outside world. Another factor at play may have to do with the stage of life each partner is experiencing.

For instance, a year gap between a year-old and a year-old may bring up different challenges and issues than for a year gap where one partner is 53 and the other is This is because our lives are made up of different stages, and each stage consists of particular life tasks we need to master.

Relationship Advice for Dating and Marriage to Younger Women and Men

And we give priority to the mastery of different tasks during these distinct stages of our lives. So when each member of a couple straddles a different life stage, it may be difficult for the couple to reconcile each other's differing life needs and goals. The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy; and resolve problems in constructive ways.

Is Dating An Older Man Weird? EXPLAINED

These factors have little do with age. So the reality is, while an age gap may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier.

Gery Karantzas is an associate professor in social psychology and relationship science at Deakin University. This piece first appeared on The Conversation. First posted April 20,