Dating a guy with borderline personality disorder

When Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder

dating a guy with borderline personality disorder

Welcome to the world of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This mental illness is somewhat of an enigma to the general public, probably. Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability. Dealing with borderline personality disorder requires skills for deescalating several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD. To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been.

Take the time to laugh at a funny joke or eat dinner together several times a week.

dating a guy with borderline personality disorder

The less an individual feels like his or her mental illness is under the spotlight, the more opportunity they have to explore other aspects of themselves. How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations.

The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity. They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe. They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued.

Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument. Try not to take it personally. If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future. What if they threaten to hurt themselves? A crisis is escalating if a person with BPD begins to threaten to harm themselves. Sometimes self-harm signs may be less overt, such as scratching the skin, eating less, coloring or shaving off hair, or isolating from others.

Recognizing early signs can help prevent an emotional crisis from becoming more serious or requiring medical or psychiatric attention. Instead, you invite the individual to talk about their emotions and allow yourself to gauge whether professional assistance is necessary. All threats of suicide should be taken seriously.

Even if the behavior is attention-seeking, it can result in seriously harm or even death.

dating a guy with borderline personality disorder

This sends the message that they have an enormous amount of power over all arguments. Instead, ask your family member what they would feel most comfortable doing when they threaten injury.

They might want to speak with their therapist, call a hotline, or walk with you into an emergency room. Allowing them some amount of agency in of deescalating a crisis can help calm out of control emotions.

What it's Like to Be in a Relationship with Someone with BPD

What other strategies can reduce conflict? Listening and reflecting can be the most effective strategy in communicating with someone with BPD. Though you might disagree with every word that is spoken, listening is not the same as agreeing.

This type of communication is not about winning an argument or being right. What can I do when I feel overwhelmed? Carve out time to spend with friends and engage in leisure activities.

You also should consider how to involve other family members in the care and support of someone with BPD. No single person should be responsible for communicating calmly and responding to crisis situations.

dating a guy with borderline personality disorder

The more people who know effective strategies for responding to the individual, the less often crises will erupt. Those moments are what the person longs for. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD. My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational.

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating. Begin Your Recovery Journey. Struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder? We're Here to Help. Email Us Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.

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Barbara Greenberga clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains: Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. Paradoxically, the overwhelming fear manifests in behaviors that deeply disrupt the relationship and pushes partners away rather than pulls them closer, resulting in a stormy and tumultuous dynamic that typically emerges in the early days of dating.

When they are in relationships they get very intensely involved way too quickly. But then what comes along with it, a couple of weeks later, is: Everything is done with passion, but it goes from being very happy and passionate to very disappointed and rageful. Prior to her diagnosis, her boyfriend, Thomas, used to blame himself for her hot and cold behavior. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have: I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else I am worthless.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER & RELATIONSHIPS - Q&A

Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about—despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me.