It always begins with him either not even realizing he's masturbating or realizing he has an hour to kill. Every time. Either we're just scrolling through Twitter and realize we've unconsciously had our hand in our pants for the last 15 minutes, or we have nothing to do so we're like, "Guess we might as well crank one out. Channel surfing for porn just like he would if he was watching TV. There is too much porn on the Internet that it makes masturbation paralyzing. What if the next video is even better? What does the title "Sex gymnast gets gold fucking medal" even mean? Should we click on that video that has a thumbnail of what looks like an alien? It's like we're Lewis and Clark exploring the Louisiana Purchase. That would be an apt comparison if Lewis and Clark had been jerking off the whole time and the only thing they discovered were a bunch of breasts.
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Because there's more than one way to rub one out. To help you get some new ideas, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of how they actually masturbate. Here are tips from our readers with penises that you might want to try yourself.